The following interview with the members of the bRoKen ZiRkuS monKey baNd is for a TIME OUT World, Nov.-Dec. 2010 particle: !

T.O.W.: Why do you ride tallbikes?
bZMb: The humans have been polluting Earth so much that it is getting warmer and melting the ice caps.
We ride tallbikes because the oceans are rising and we want to keep the fish out of our pedals.

Why do you travel by bicycles?
Because yaks are too slow.

Why don‘t you just drive an ecological hybrid car?
Well, the tallbike doesn‘t fit in the trunk, silly!

Where are you from?
We escaped from various European and Americana laboratories („All of our cosmetics are non-carcinogenic!“)

What do you want?

There is quite a bit of hysteria being caused by the bRoKen ZiRkuS monKey banD. People are afraid you are a new kind of punk-hippie-hardcore-cult.
Well, as it is written in The Book of Monkey:
Mesus made water into Banana Juice. After Mesus was skinned and made into a jacket for Escada, Mesus rose skinless from the grave and began teaching the Padawonkeys. Many ears later, his disciple, Monkoses, parted the Banana Juice to free all the Padawonkeys from the Circus in Mauritius and Nepal, which to this date are still persecuting the Padawonkeys for free thought and sending them to European animal-testing laboratories.“ – The Book of Monkey, 7:11

Are you sure you only want Bananas?
Hmm, we do have a long list of other demands:

А) More police violence — equal treatment for pregnant women and the handicapped!
Б) More real furs for our synthetic bodies!
Г) More Babies — Less Love!
Д) More subsidies for franchises so that ALL people EVERYWHERE can eat the same food!
Ё) Less recycling! We‘re proud of our products and what to go down in our sea of plastic!
Ж) Connect more shopping malls! We don‘t want to breathe the outside air while shopping!
З) Teach video games in schools! Our children feel alienated because they can‘t do the special moves in Doomsday Battle Kings 3!
Й) More pesticides to keep our bodies fresh!
К) Mandatory make-up! Too many ugly people are walking the streets and it hurts our eyes!
Л) Smaller sidewalks and more car lanes! Hummers and SUVs allowed on every street!
М) Less trees and parks — More houses and 5-car garages!
ф) Privatise all natural spring water — let no drop go untaxed!
х) More black and white — ban colored ties and accessories! People should concentrate on their work!
ц) More fishing! Protect the cargo shipping lanes — harvest the orcas and dolphins!

Uh, why?
Because everybody wants to be naked and famous!

What do you think of Japan?
We have a special list for Japan:
あ : Less food in packaging — we can‘t eat the whole 100 grams of corn flakes because the bowls are too small — we want 50 grams max! And only 1/4-apples wrapped in plastic — 1/2-apples are too big!
い : Ban second-hand shops! They stagnate economic growth!
う : Protect families from the police: segregate foreigners and Japanese at demonstrations!
え : State Suicide Requirements: not only if you loose you job, but also
* if your dog leaves the house without a coat and inside a push-buggy
* when your children get arrested at a demonstration
* when your sidewalk has not been vacuum-cleaned for more than one hour
* if you are away from Pachinko for more than 5 hours
* if you do NOT buy a Honda

Thank you very much for your time.
Sure. We hope that the people who read this have their own opinions and think for themselves about the state of the world and their position in it.